ADJUNCTIVE THERAPIES

BREATHING EXERCISE

Breathing - Breath awareness is an essential part of relaxation, meditation, and centering. The relationships between the breath and the mind are reciprocal. Emotional and/or physical distress is related to jerky, shallow chest breathing. A calm, centered mind and relaxed body are related to deep, rhythmic abdominal breathing. Since breathing can be voluntarily controlled, breathing exercises can be used as a bridge from a state of distress to a more balanced, calm, and centered state.

The following breathing exercises can be practiced daily. A suggested schedule is three 10-minute practice periods per day: once upon awakening, once during the day, and once before going to sleep at night. You may also benefit from "minute vacations" throughout the day. When you notice your breathing becoming irregular and shallow, take a minute to use deep, abdominal breathing. Notice the benefits of decreased muscular tension and a calm, centered mind.

Breathing Exercises - Begin each exercise in a calm, quiet environment free from distractions. Place yourself in a comfortable posture - sitting or lying down. Allow your body to become relaxed: legs and arms uncrossed; head, neck and trunk in straight alignment. Turn your attention to your breathing.

I. Deep Abdominal Breathing (complete breath)

Diaphragmatic Breathing

Breathe through the nose. Mouth closed. Body relaxed. First exhale all air.

Inhale:

1. Balloon out abdomen slightly.

2. Expand middle rib cage.

3. Expand upper lungs. Hold. (Relax face).

Exhale:

1. Release air slowly. Exhale air from upper lobes of lungs.

2. Middle rib cage.

3. Slightly contract abdominal muscles. Squeeze all stale air out.

Repeat.

The movement of the abdomen can be illustrated by placing your hands across your abdomen, touching between the fingertips. As you inhale, the fingers will expand apart. As you exhale, they will move closer together.

II. Even Breathing

While you practice abdominal breathing, concentrate on allowing the breath to be very smooth and even. The inhalation and exhalation are of the same length and have the same pressure. Allow the flow of air to be even throughout the entire cycle. Allow all pauses, stops, and shakiness in the breath to end. Allow inhalation to become effortless, as if the air breathes for you.

--SELF-AWARENESS EXERCISE

 

Part I: Path to Center
Get in a comfortable position and take a moment to just look around the room. Really see the light, the colors, the people.

Now take a deep breath and close your eyes and let all that visual awareness go.

And now - Be aware of the sounds.

And take a deep breath and let that go.

Be aware of your body, any physical sensations which are present for you at this time.

Scan yourself from head to toe, and if you need to move, do that now.

And now - pay attention to your breathing. With each out breath - let go of anything you no longer need.

With each in breath - breathe in the essence of your higher self, pure light and pure energy.

And now just be aware of your breathing without trying to change it.

It breathes me (Pause).

Be aware that this is a time for you; to empower yourself and others in the group.

Be aware of any feelings that are present now. Notice feelings are related to the past or to the future. Just notice them and let them be. There is nothing you have to do about these feelings now.

Notice any thoughts going through your mind. Do not hold onto them - just let them pass through. Say to yourself - I AM AT PEACE.

Notice any images that may be present in your mind's eye; just let them float through.

Allow yourself to move into the center of silence.

And now notice how it feels to be you in this moment.

Part II: Creating Your Sanctuary or Safe Place
AND NOW FROM THIS CENTERED part just imagine yourself in some beautiful natural environment.

It can be anyplace that appeals to you, a meadow or a mountain top, in the forest, or beside the sea.

It doesn't really matter, as long as it is beautiful and peaceful and safe - a place that feels really good to be in, a place where you feel connected to the natural energies around you - and just take some time to look around and see what you see in that quiet place - notice the colors - the sounds - the smells - and any particular feelings or impressions.

From now on - this is your own personal sanctuary - your safe place; You can return anytime just by closing your eyes and desiring to be here.

You will always find it healing and relaxing to be here. It is also a special place of power for you.

Feel the love and power, and if you wish - send it out to others in the room or friends and family.

This is a time to be at peace and to let your body use its own innate capacity to heal itself. Take all the time you need.

Take a few moments to complete your experience and then very gently, open your eyes and be here.
-RELAXATION IMAGERY SCRIPT FROM SAMUELS & BENNETT

"Close your eyes. Breathe in and out slowly and deeply. Relax your whole body by whatever method works best for you. Then let your ideas of all disease symptoms . . . become bubbles in your consciousness. Now imagine that these bubbles are being blown out of your mind, out of your body, out of your consciousness, by a breeze that draws them away from you, far into the distance, until you no longer see them or feel them. Watch them disappear over the horizon.

"Now imagine that you are in a place you love. It may be the beach, in the mountains, on the desert, or wherever else you feel fully alive, comfortable, and healthy. Imagine the area around you is filled with bright, clear light. Allow the light to flow into your body, making your day brighter, and filling you with the energy of health. Enjoy basking in this light . . . "
-Achterberg, J., Imagery In Healing. Boston: Shambhala, 1985.

DISTRACTION
Some suggestions include:

1. Radio, television, movies, and videos. There are videos of nature scenes with relaxation music.

2. Music - classical, "oldies," or a vast resource of "new age" relaxation music. Using a Walkman is ideal.

3. Reading or being read to.

4. Breathing, as described in relaxation.

5. Humor. Norman Cousins described from personal experience how a deep laugh at humor books or clips from Candid Camera resulted in pain relief for two hours. This is probably due to the release of endorphins. He recommends two books: Subtreasury of American Humor by E. B. and Katherine White and The Enjoyment of Laughter by Max Eastman.

6. Hobbies and crafts, especially those that gave satisfaction in the past. This can increase a sense of achievement and self esteem.

-Academy for Guided Imagery, Mill Valley, California/Hospice of Marin

HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH LOSS
Children can resolve losses as favorably as adults given the following conditions:

1. The child has enjoyed a reasonably secure relationship with his/her parents before the loss.

2. The child receives prompt and accurate information about what has happened, and is allowed to ask all sorts of questions and have them answered as honestly as possible.

3. The child participates in the family grieving, including funeral rites.

4. The child has the comforting presence of a parent or adult whom they trust and can rely on in a continuing relationship.

Questions parents can ask themselves before discussing loss:

1. Do I feel guilty or anxious about what has happened? If I do, can I keep from pushing the child to deny his/her own hurt and anger in order to please me and prove me right?

2. Do I feel rejected or abandoned, unloved or alone? If so, can I keep from adding my own burden to the child's emotional response? Can I avoid making the child feel that he/she must fill the gaps in my life, take care of me, fill my needs instead of his/her own?

3. Am I relieved at ending a bad situation? If I am, can I avoid expecting the child to share my feelings? He/she will need to acknowledge and express his/her own feelings if he/she is to work through them.

4. Do I feel insecure about practical matters-monetary arrangements, living

situation? Can I avoid laying these burdens on the child? The child may need to know some of the facts, but the solutions to these problems must clearly remain my task.

5. Do I blame someone else in the family for what has happened? Can I be honest but non-judgmental with the child? He/she must not be expected to choose sides against another family member, especially against either of his/her parents?

6. Do I have expectations as to the right way for the child to react? If it is hard for me to let the child express strong feelings such as anger, sadness, and despair, I will need to find someone else with whom he/she can share those feelings.

What should I do first?

Sometimes when we are responsible for helping a child with the initial impact of a loss we feel anxious about where to begin. It seems as if there is so much to remember. But it doesn't really matter where you start, or if you remember everything the first or second or third time. Often the child will lead the way, showing you what is needed and when by the questions that he/she asks. Then you can confidently follow his/her cues, knowing you are doing what needs to be done.